Ways To Annoy People: Drive Thru
by SamanthaReese
Summary: Fifth installment of my "Ways To Annoy People" series. In this one, Morgan pulls some pranks at the drive thru of various fast food places.
1. Am I too Early For Breakfast

**Hello again, everyone! I'm back with the fifth installment of my "Ways To Annoy People" series! To recap your memories, Penelope pulled some pranks on an airplane. Emily Prentiss pulled some pranks in the movie theater, with some help from Clyde Easter. Aaron Hotchner pulled some pranks at the beach while on vacation, with some help from his son, Jack. And Spencer Reid pulled some pranks while in the elevator. And now, in this upcoming story, we have Derek Morgan pulling some pranks at various drive throughs in his hometown of Chicago, Illinois. I hope you like this.**

**Disclaimer: I only own the name of the restaurant and the name person who works at the restaurant in this chapter. The Morgan family in this chapter, belongs to Criminal Minds/CBS.**

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**"Laughter is the corrective force which prevents us from becoming cranks." ~Henri Bergson**

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It was 11:45 pm and Derek Morgan sat on the couch in the living room of his mother's home. Sitting next to and resting her head on his shoulder, was his little sister, Desiree. The two of them were watching a movie on television. Their mother, Fran and older sister, Sarah, were already sleeping. Morgan stood up and said, "I'm getting kind of hungry. You want to go get something to eat?"

"I want something to eat, but I don't feel like getting up and going somewhere. You can go and bring me something back." Desiree answered.

"Is there a certain food that you want?" Morgan asked.

"Um… Just surprise me."

"Okay, but if I bring you back something that you don't like, then don't blame me for it." Morgan smiled, but ducked quickly as Desiree playfully sent a pillow flying towards him.

"That almost hit me. Now what would mom say if she caught you, throwing her good couch pillows at her favorite child?" Morgan playfully asked.

"You better go get the food or I'm throwing the remote at you." Desiree playfully said.

Holding his hands up in defense and backing away, Morgan playfully said, "Okay, okay. I'm going."

It was a few minutes after midnight when Morgan pulled into the drive through of a fast food restaurant called _**"Clementine's Grill." **_He waited patiently behind a few cars. When he finally drove up to the menu, the voice on the intercom came through and said, "Hi, Welcome to "_**Clementine's Grill"**_, what would you like to order?"

"Am I too early for breakfast?" Morgan asked.

There was a moment of silence as Morgan smiled to himself and waited for an answer. He wished he could have seen the look on the order taker's face when the question was asked. Finally, the order taker spoke.

"I'm sorry sir, but we don't serve breakfast until 7:15 in the morning."

"Oh man. I don't know what I'm going to tell my little sister, now. She was really craving one of your breakfast pizzas. When she doesn't get what she wants, she throws the biggest temper tantrums. Trust me, you do not want to see her when she's angry. She's not a very pretty sight." Morgan explained.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, sir." There was a hint of nervous laughter in the order taker's voice.

"No need to apologize. She'll get over it, eventually."

Morgan returned to the house at around 12:15, carrying in two bags of food. For Desiree, he ordered Fish sticks with coleslaw and a soda and for himself, he ordered a cheeseburger with French fries and a soda. He entered the living room with the two bags and found his little sister, still sitting on the couch, flipping through the channels.

"Our late night snack has arrived." Derek smiled as he handed a bag of food to little sister.

Desiree pulled the food out of the bag and saw what Morgan had ordered for her. "Oh! Fish sticks and coleslaw! My favorite! Thanks, Derek!"

"You're very welcome."

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**End of chapter one. Please let me know what you thought. I want to see some reviews. Chapter two will be up, soon. **


	2. This Is To Go

** A/ N: Thanks to all those who read and reviewed for chapter one. You're reviews are greatly appreciated. Hope you like this next chapter just as much as the first one.**

**Disclaimer: The Morgan family sadly does not belong to me. They are the sole property of CBS/Criminal Minds. However, the name of the restaurant and the order taker does belong to me.**

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A little while later in the day, the family was sitting in the back yard, talking to each other. It was a beautiful and peaceful day outside. It wasn't too cold or too hold and the sun was shining.

"So, Derek. How long are you staying here with us?" Sarah asked.

"I've got two weeks of vacation. So I'll be staying for the whole two weeks."

"We're glad to have you here." Fran said.

"Thanks mom. Hey are any of you hungry? I'm thinking about going to a fast food restaurant and picking something up. You want anything?"

"Food does sound good right now." Sarah said as Fran and Desiree agreed with her.

"Alright, what do you want?" Morgan asked.

"I don't know about anyone else, but Mexican food sounds good." Fran said.

"I think I'd like that too." Desiree said as Sarah agreed with her.

"I guess I'll stop by the **_"Taco Shack." _**What do you want from there?" Morgan asked.

"I want a quesadilla with a side order of rice and an ice tea." Sarah said.

"I think I'll have the same, but instead of rice, I want fried corn." Desiree said.

"I'll take a bowl of taco soup with an ice water." Fran said. She then stood up and said, "Wait just a moment Derek. I'll go get some money from my purse for our meals."

"No mom, sit back down. I offered to go get the food, so I'll be the one who's paying." Morgan said.

"Are you sure?" Fran asked her son.

"Yes, I'm sure." Morgan answered.

"We can pay for our own food." Desiree said.

"Yeah, we don't mind paying for it." Sarah chimed in.

"Well today, I'm paying for it." Morgan said, ending the conversation.

When Morgan got to the **_"Taco Shack"_**, he was very fortunate to be the first vehicle in the drive through lane. He sat there and waited patiently for the order taker to speak. Finally, he heard a voice.

"Hi, welcome to **_"Taco Shack."_** May I take you order?"

"Yes, I would like two quesadillas, one with rice and one with fried corn. I'd also like a bowl of taco soup. And I would like a taco salad."

And what would you like to drink?"

"Two ice teas, one ice water, and a soda."

"Okay, just let me make sure this is right. You want two quesadillas, one with rice and one with fried corn, a bowl of taco soup, a taco salad, two ice teas, an ice water and a soda. Is that all correct?"

"Yes, it is. And this order is to go." Morgan said as he grinned to himself and waited for the order taker to reply back to him.

"Um… okay. Well, your total is $13.75. Please pull up to the first window to pay."

"Alright thank you. And make sure you and everyone else who's cooking my food, knows that this is to go. I don't want someone sending my food out on a tray." Morgan said, repeating what he had said earlier, before driving away to the first window to pay. He only wished he could see the look on the order taker's face.

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**End of chapter two. I would love to see some reviews. So, please let me know what you thought. Chapter three will be up, very soon.**


	3. I Can't Believe You Just Said That!

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed chapter two. Hope you like this next chapter. **

**Disclaimer: Derek Morgan and his family are not mine. They belong to CBS/Criminal Minds. However, the order taker, manager and name of restaurant are my creations.**

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After Morgan had finished eating his meal with his mother and two sisters, he decided to get back into his vehicle and do some more drive through pranking. When his Fran had asked him where he was going, he simply responded with, "Oh nowhere in particular. I just feel like going for a drive. I'll be back in a while."

He drove around the city for about twenty minutes, just looking for his next target. Finally, he decided to pull into the drive through lane of _**"Island Of Burgers And Shakes." **_He had to wait in line behind a few other vehicles, but to him, it was worth it.

When it was finally his turn, he pulled up to the large menu and waited. Finally, the order taker spoke. "Hi, welcome to _**"Island Of Burgers And Shakes." **_May I take your order?"

"Give me a moment, please. I'm still trying to decide." Morgan said.

"Take your time."

"Thank you." Morgan said as he stared at the menu for a moment, before finally deciding.

"Okay, I'll have a hamburger with mustard and extra pickles, and no onions or tomatoes, please. And I'd also like a strawberry milkshake without the whipped cream topping."

"Would you like fries with your order?" The order taker asked?

Morgan feigned a shocked look and shouted "WHOA MAN! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST SAID THAT! I WANT TO SPEAK TO THE MANAGER, RIGHT NOW!"

"I'm sorry sir, but I don't understand. What is it that I said that upset you." There was a hint of shakiness in the order taker's voice.

"YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SAID! NOW GET ME THE MANAGER BEFORE I GET EVEN MORE ANGRIER!"

Morgan waited for a few moments before finally hearing the voice of the manager.

"Hi, I'm Gannon, the manager here. Is there a problem I can help you with?"

"OH YES, THERE'S A PROBLEM! DO YOU…."

"Sir, please don't shout. I can hear you, perfectly clear." Gannon said.

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" Morgan continued to shout, ignoring Gannon's request. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOUR EMPLOYEE JUST ASKED ME?! HE ASKED "DO YOU WANT FRIES WITH YOUR ORDER?" I DID NOT LIKE THE WAY HE SAID THAT! THAT IS BORDERLINE SEXUAL HARRASSMENT!"

"Sir, I'm sorry, but that isn't sexual harassment. The employees here are required to offer fries to all the meals."

Morgan was quiet for a moment, before shouting, "WELL, GUESS WHO WON'T BE COMING HERE, ANYMORE… ME!" He then sped away. Once he was a safe distance away, he pulled off to the side of the road and had a fit of laughter. He would have loved to have seen the looks on their faces.

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**End of chapter three. Please leave me some reviews. I'd love to know what you thought. Chapter four will be up, soon.**


	4. I Know What You Did To My Food!

**A/N: ****Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed for the previous chapter. I hope you like this next chapter as well.**

**Disclaimer: Derek Morgan is not mine, however, the order taker and the name of the restaurant are my creations.**

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After the whole incident at the previous place, Morgan picked his next target. A place called _**"Castle Of Pizza." **_He waited behind a couple of cars, before finally pulling up to the menu.

"Hi, welcome to _**"Castle Of Pizza." **_May I take your order?" The order taker asked.

"Yes, I would like a personal pan meat lovers pizza with a side order of cinnamon breadsticks and a soda."

"You want a personal pan meat lovers pizza with cinnamon breadsticks and a soda. Is that all correct?"

"Yes it is."

"Okay, your total is $7.50. Please pull up to the next window to pay and receive your meal. Thank you." The order taker said.

"Thank you too." Morgan said as he pulled up to the next window, where he was met by a young college aged Hispanic girl.

"Hi, $7.50 please." The young girl smiled.

Morgan just stared at her and handed the cash to her. And when she brought his food to him, he took it and continued to stare at her. Feeling a bit uneasy, the girl asked, "Is something wrong, sir?"

Not breaking his stare, Morgan was silent for a moment before finally saying, "I know what you did to my food!" He then drove away, leaving the girl with a very confused look on her face.

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**End of chapter four. I know it's short and I'm sorry about that, but please leave me some reviews. Good or bad, I'll accept them both. Chapter five will be up, soon.**


	5. Isn't This The Way These Places Work?

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed for the previous chapter. I hope you like this next chapter.**

**Disclaimer: Morgan does not belong to me, but everyone else and the restaurant name are my creations. **

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After Morgan had left _**"Castle Of Pizza"**_, he drove to a nearby park where he sat down at a table to enjoy his meal. He sat there, quietly eating and thinking of his next prank. Moments later, he took his last few bites and finished drinking his soda, before tossing the trash back into his car and driving away to his next destination.

Morgan drove around the city for a few moments, before finally deciding on his next location. He decided on a place called _**"Fisherman's Paradise." **_There was a long line of vehicles in the drive through lane, but Morgan decided to wait patiently until it was his turn at the menu. For nearly ten minutes, he waited in line, listening to the radio and lightly tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. Finally, he was able to get to the menu.

"Hi, welcome to _**"Fisherman's Paradise." **_May I take your order?" The order taker asked.

"Yes, I would like a grilled cat fish with a side order of fried clams and an ice water." Morgan said.

"Grilled cat fish with a side order of fried clams and an ice water. Is that all correct?"

"Yes it is."

"Okay, you're total is $8.00. Please pull up to the next window to pay."

Morgan pulled up to the next window and paid the $8.00 to a blonde haired man of about his age. He then pulled up to the next window to receive his food. When he got there, he was met by a dark haired man, who was slightly younger than he was. The young man smiled and handed Morgan his meal, saying "Here you are, sir. Enjoy your meal and have a nice day."

And as soon as Morgan's meal was handed to him, Morgan handed the trash from the previous restaurant, to the young man. The young man held the trash in his hand and was very confused about it.

"Sir, what am I supposed to do with this?" He asked.

"Uh… you're supposed to throw it away. What else did you think you were supposed to do?" Morgan looked at the man like he was crazy, but the man probably thought Morgan was even more crazier.

"Sir, I don't know why you can't just throw it away yourself." The young man said.

"Well isn't this the way these places work? You give me food and I give you my trash?" Morgan asked.

"Um… no sir. That isn't really how it is."

"Well anyway, I'd love to sit here and continue this discussion, but I have a very important business meeting in about fifteen minutes and I don't want to be late for it." Morgan then drove away, laughing.

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**End of chapter five. Please leave me some reviews. I love knowing what you all thought about it. I'll have chapter six up as soon as possible. **


	6. May I Take Your Order?

**A/N: Thanks to all those who read and reviewed for chapter five. I really appreciate it. Anyway, I hope you like this next chapter just as well.**

**Disclaimer: Morgan belongs to CBS/Criminal Minds. He's not mine, but other characters in this chapter are mine.**

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Moments after Morgan had received his meal from _**"Fisherman's Paradise," **_he decided he was too full to eat it. His first option was to throw it away, but he didn't want to seem wasteful. As he was driving, he saw a homeless man sitting against the wall, outside a café. There was a black hat with some change in it, in front of the man. With the bag of food in his hand, Morgan got out of his vehicle and walked over to the man. He then handed the food over to the man and placed a $50 dollar bill inside the hat.

"Have a nice day, sir." Morgan smiled and walked away.

"Thank you!" The homeless man called after Morgan.

"You're welcome!" Morgan called back.

Morgan was driving through the city, just trying to figure out which restaurant would fall victim to his next prank. He drove for nearly twenty minutes, until finally deciding on a place called _**"Flynn's." **_ Unfortunately for him, there was a long line of vehicles in the drive through lane, before him. He sat there and waited patiently for his turn. Finally, the line had gotten shorter and Morgan was able to pull up to the menu. He waited patiently for the order taker to speak.

"Hello, wel…."

"Hello, welcome to _**"Flynn's." **_May I take your order?" Morgan had interrupted the order taker and attempted to take his order.

There was a short pause of silence, until the order taker finally began to say something and it was obvious to Morgan that there was confusion in the other man's voice.

"Um…. Sir? What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to take your order. What else would I be doing?" Morgan said.

"I'm supposed to be taking your order. Now what would you like?"

"I am not playing games here. Now tell me what you want because you're holding up a long line of very hungry customers, who just might get real angry soon." Morgan said.

"Sir, I don't know what you're playing at, but…."

"Bye." Morgan had sped away before the order taker could finish talking.

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**End of chapter six. Let me know what you thought. I'd love to see some reviews. Good or bad. I'll accept both. I'll have chapter seven up as soon as possible. **


	7. Broken Window

**A/N: Thanks to all those who read and reviewed for chapter six. I really appreciate it. Anyway, I hope you like this next chapter just as well.**

**Disclaimer: Morgan belongs to CBS/Criminal Minds. He's not mine, but the order taker and the name of the restaurant are my creations.**

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Soon after the whole incident at _**"Flynn's"**_, Morgan decided upon another restaurant to prank. This time, he chose the restaurant that was next door to _**"Flynn's"**_, _**"Grandma's Kitchen." **_He pulled into the drive thru and waited patiently behind a fairly short line of vehicles in front of him.

Finally, after a few moments of waiting, Morgan pulled up to the large menu and waited for the order taker to speak.

"Hi, welcome to _**"Grandma's Kitchen." **_May I take your order?"

"Yes, but before I order anything, I just want to let you know that my window is broken and I'll have to order with my door open, instead. I hope that isn't a problem?" Morgan said.

"No, of course not. It's no problem at all."

Morgan heaved a sigh of relief and said, "I am so glad to hear that. Okay, I'll have an order of chicken fingers with mashed potatoes and a lemonade."

"Chicken finger, mashed potatoes and a lemonade. Is that all correct?"

"Yes it is."

"Okay, your total is $8.47. Please pull up to the first window to pay."

Morgan pulled up to the first window. Just like he had done when he was ordering his food, he paid with the door open. After paying, he pulled up to the next window and waited for his meal to arrive. Finally after a few moments of waiting, his meal arrived. Instead of opening the door, he rolled down the window and received his meal. There was a confused look on the lady's face who gave him his meal.

"What? Oh, look I got my window fixed! I guess I was hitting the wrong button to roll it down." Morgan grinned, sheepishly and then drove away.

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**End of chapter seven. Let me know what you thought, with some reviews, please. I'll have chapter eight up as soon as possible.**


	8. Please Leave A Message

**A/N: Thanks to all those who read and reviewed for chapter seven. I really appreciate it. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this next chapter too.**

**Disclaimer: Nope, Derek Morgan is not mine nor will he ever be. He belongs to CBS/Criminal Minds, but, the order taker and the restaurant are my creations.**

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Morgan had decided to take a little break from all his pranks. So he drove back to the local park and sat down at one of the picnic tables to eat his meal. While he ate, he thought about what prank to pull next and on which restaurant. After he had finished his meal, he wiped his mouth and hands off with a napkin and then stood up and walked to the trash can, throwing his trash into it.

He then walked back over to the table and sat down, still thinking of his next prank and location. While he sat there and thought, he took out his cell phone and checked for any text messages. So far, there were none. He then decided to check a few websites while he was thinking.

Finally after a few moments of thinking and browsing through the internet on his phone, Morgan had the next prank and location ready. He stood up and walked to his vehicle and got into it, and put his safety belt on. He then drove away.

It took him about twenty minutes to reach his destination. Pulling into the drive thru of a restaurant called **_"Brantley's Backyard BBQ". _** Luckily for him, he only had to wait behind one vehicle, but unfortunately, the people who were in that vehicle, took a while with ordering their meal. It was over five minutes before Morgan finally was able to pull up to the large menu and order something.

"Hello, wel…"

"I'm not here at the moment , please leave a message and I'll be sure to get back to you as soon as possible." Morgan had interrupted the order taker.

"Welcome to…"

"I'm not here at the moment, please leave a message and I'll be sure to get back to you as soon as possible." Morgan once again, interrupted the order taker. When the order taker spoke again, Morgan could sense the anger rising in his voice.

**_"Brantley's Backyard BBQ". _**Now what wou…"

""I'm not here at the moment, please leave a message and I'll be sure to get back to you as soon as possible." Morgan fought back the laugher that was threatening to escape him as he repeated himself.

"Sir! What do you want?!" The order taker angrily asked.

Morgan could no longer contain in. He let out a fit of laughter and said, "Nothing. I want nothing at all!" He then drove away. He could only imagine the angry look on the order taker's face.

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**End of chapter eight. Leave me some reviews, please. I always appreciate them, even the bad ones. There's just one more chapter left and I'll have it up as soon as possible.**


	9. Check Out The Babe

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed for the previous chapter. I hope you all will enjoy this final chapter.**

**Disclaimer: The Morgan family belongs to CBS/Criminal Minds. I only own the name of the restaurants and the order takers.**

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After leaving _**"Brantley's Backyard BBQ"**_, Morgan decided on one last prank, but he needed some help with it. He drove back to his mother's house and was very grateful to find Desiree sitting on the front porch swing with a book in her hands. He got out of the car and walked to the porch.

"Hey, little sister. Where's mom and Sarah?" Morgan leaned against the railing, with his arms folded acrossed his chest and smiled.

"They went out about an hour ago to do some shopping." Desiree closed the book and sat it beside her. So what have you been doing?"

"Oh not much. I've just been driving around and having a little fun. Hey listen, you think you can help me with something?"

"With what?"

Desiree sat there silently and listened to Derek talk about all the pranks he pulled on various restaurants. When he explained to her what his final prank would be and if she would help him with it, she had to think about it before giving an answer. Finally she made her decision.

"Alright, I'll do it." She smiled and stood up.

"Now that's what I love to hear." Morgan smiled back.

While Morgan sat in the passenger seat of his car, he allowed Desiree to drive because that was part of the plan. They pulled into the drive thru lane of a restaurant called, _**"McElson's"**_. They were the first ones at the large menu.

"You remember what to do?" Morgan asked.

"Yes I remember."

The two of them waited for the order taker to speak. Finally they heard his voice.

"Hi, welcome to "_**McElson's"**_, may I take your order?"

"Hey there, sexy. Well, yes of course you can take my order. I want a grilled chicken salad with a medium order of French fries, and a medium water. Did you get all that, sugar?" Desiree spoke very seductively into the speaker.

"Um… I think I got it. Just let me.. let me…" The order taker cleared his throat and finished speaker. "Let me check to make sure if this is all right. You want a chicken salad with a medium order of French fries and a medium water. Is that correct?"

The two siblings could hear the embarrassment in the man's voice. They did their best not to laugh.

"Baby, that is exactly right. You know exactly what I want." Desiree said.

"Um… your total is $10.25. Please pull up to the next window to pay and accept your meal. Thank you for ordering with us."

"You're welcome, handsome. And thank you for taking my order." Desiree then looked at her brother with a smile on her face and said, "Okay, now what?"

"Now get out and wait at the front door here and I'll come back around and pick you up when I get the food." Morgan said.

Desiree got out the car and walked to the front door of the building, where she would wait. Morgan then got into the driver's seat and pulled up to the next window. He wasn't surprised at all to see about five or six men all standing at the window, just waiting to "check out the babe." The expressions on their faces changed when they saw it was just him.

"Wow, I didn't know the whole place wanted to see me." Morgan smiled sheepishly.

"Man, that's not a hot babe! That's just some dude! Rory, are you high or something?!"

Rory, who had been the one who took the order from Desiree, had an embarrassed and confused look on his face. "I swear, I was talking to a woman earlier!"

"You got us looking at some guy! We don't want to look at that!"

"Well, you're not so good looking yourself, either! Here's your money! Now give me my damn food!" Morgan feigned anger.

After Morgan was given his meal, he drove to the front of the building where his sister was waiting. She got into the passenger side of the car and sat down. The two of them looked at each and started laughing.

"Oh my god! I can't believe we just did that! What happened?!" Desiree asked through laughter.

Morgan had to finish laughing, before he could start speaking. When he was sure he was done laughing, he explained to her what had happened after she had gotten out of the car. After he had finished telling her, she broke down in laughter.

"Were they mad?!"

"They seemed like they were, but more at their employee than they were with me."

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**"Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him." ~Roman Gary**

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**Well, we've reached the end of this fic, but no need to worry. There's more to the series. Coming up, we've got Rossi pulling some pranks. I'd love to see some reviews for this chapter. I really enjoyed writing this story. The next story of the series will be up as soon as possible. I hope you'll all like it. **


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